Honestly

I really really want to just sleep all tomorrow away. I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to try and face the day, I just want to eat and sleep. But at the same time I want to go spend time with my grandma, I want to hang out with my dad, and I want to just have my sister back in Florida.

Mother’s day sets my brain into overdrive, if you have no mother what are you celebrating? The day is meant to be celebrated with moms and your family, and also your mother, so is it ok to forego the celebrating with others if you don’t have you mom? I’m confusing myself at this point.

I don’t think because I have been raised by my family I should have to endure smiling and putting my feelings aside to make them happy. Yes I lost my mother when I was 5 months old, and yes I am now 26, but that doesn’t mean because I am older my grief has disappeared. I still struggle daily with the loss and it is not up to anyone else how quickly I grieve.

The purpose of this blog is to express that just because others feel you should have reached a certain place in your life, doesn’t mean you HAVE to reach it. It is ok to go at your own pace and do things in your own time.