Confused

So I have this one person in my life, she is like an aunt though technically she is my cousin. For some reason when she speaks she has the ability to trigger so much anxiety and panic, even though she has good intentions.

Tonight I got to experience a taste of that, it did NOT feel good. She was particularly bothered I was not at our mother’s day get together, and felt that if I truly understood where she was coming from I would have showed up no matter how I was feeling. I remind you all I DO NOT HAVE A MOTHER, SHE PASSED WHEN I WAS LITTLE.

I made a point of visiting my grandma, my mother’s grave, and my father, which I told her. Lets just say how she reacted left a bad taste in my mouth, yet again.

I pose these questions in hopes someone can help me understand. Why should I have to set aside my feelings of sadness and loneliness on mother’s day to make others happy? How can I be around family, if my family is only going to make me feel like shit for trying to take care of myself?

I hope everyone’s weekend was restful, I appreciate any thoughts and suggestions for future family get togethers.

One thought on “Confused

  1. You know me. :) says:

    Hi. First sorry she made you feel that way. Second never never give in to others about how you feel towards something. You deal with your mom and her not being here in your way that makes you happy and feeling good. That is all that matters. If your family does not understand how you feel or what you do or dont do on mothers day that is their issue. It is sad that your family does not comfort you more when this time of year comes around knowing how you feel. Always stick to your feelings and what makes it work for you, if that means you do not go to a family outing then explain why and move on. I understand how you feel completly i hope this advice helps. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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