Today did not go as planned. I was super anxious for my sister to get to Florida, we had planned everything out for today so we could catch up and help get stuff for her new rental. It’s 8:31PM and due to stuff out of her control she hasn’t made it, though she is in Florida so yay!

It just reminded me how not being in control really can make me feel…well out of control. The more I think about past and future events, the more I can see exactly how controlling I am.

The way I see it if I’m not calling the shots I can’t really trust things will go the way I would like. I sound neurotic but it’s the best way I can explain it. Better yet let me give you an example. I would prefer to not go to a family function, than to go and not be prepared for any possible scenario (i.e. conflicts, criticism, being too early, being too late).

Even though I know some things will NEVER EVER be in my control, my mind is like ugh not having this find a way. That or it freaks out and panic ensues shortly after.

I’m rambling so I’ll stop here. Have a great night all!

P.S. Thank you to everyone that has followed my blog, I’ve passed the 20 mark!!

By Angie Amadon

Wife and fur-mom of 3. Depression and anxiety are with me always, but do not define me.

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