A storm in my head

All week I’ve been zoned out, I’m trying to put on a more positive vibe but I don’t think it’s working so well. I still am having trouble focusing, my mood is just blah/sad, and my mind keeps obsessing over every little thing.

Honestly I’d prefer to have a massive panic attack than to feel like this every day, I’m drained. I haven’t been sleeping, which I’m sure isn’t helping, but how the heck can I hush my overactive mind! I feel like just giving in and sleeping all weekend until I calm down again.

What has me more concerned is I am totally clueless as to what my trigger is/was. Usually I can distinguish the cause and work it out in my brain even if it takes a day or so, I can’t pinpoint any scenario that I haven’t all ready moved on from.

At this point I’m highly considering seeing a psychiatrist to be put on some form of low anxiety medication. I’ve been struggling with this because I don’t want to be medicated, I want to be strong enough to feel better on my own. The thing is I’m too exhausted to exercise, I can’t focus enough to even get through a freaking work day, and eating right is so hard when I just want to binge eat sweets.

To medicate or not to medicate? Who knows at this point, I just want to feel normal. I just want to be me again.