This weekend I reached my breaking point. I quite literally became unhinged in front of my husband and my father in law. I was surprised with how the crazy was just flowing out with no end in sight, even though I felt it coming all week.
Let me try and explain what happens, maybe by explaining it to others I can better understand myself. It’s like going to a train station or an airport knowing you will board to get to your destination, but you have no clue what time it is arriving.
I feel my panic worsening, I can picture how bad the attack will be, and I know full well I am completely over thinking every situation; yet I can’t see WHEN the attack will occur. That in turn causes more panic because I start to think about all the possible times it can happen, when I don’t want it to happen, and I start to obsess about something that may come in a day or may come in 3 weeks.
It truly sounds absolutely psychotic in my head. I feel absolutely helpless to stop something that I know is coming. How is it that possible?
Angie's Atrium 
4 replies on “Thoughts”
I am also very in tune with myself and my emotions. This week I have felt just sorta “off” and I’m not completely sure why. I also have episodes of anxiety and I try to fight it the best I can. It’s hard and it even harder to explain to others who don’t go through these things.
Thank you for sharing. It’s something we all need to openly talk about more.
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It’s been hard to just out everything out there, but I’ve realized with doing so I kind of release some of that pent up anxiety.
We are doing the best we can.
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I’ve also experienced this – it’s like your stability is a cup and it fills with anxiety and other things and then it all spills over uncontrollably. I think you’ll get better with controlling it as you become more familiar with it – I really struggled with it this winter when my SAD was worse than ever, but I did a lot of self-reflection and exploration and was able to start identifying triggers and signs, so I’m hoping I will cope with it better next winter. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for reading. I appreciate your feedback incredibly. I hope we both get better every day. Being able to openly express these thoughts has been a tremendous help.
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