This weekend I reached my breaking point. I quite literally became unhinged in front of my husband and my father in law. I was surprised with how the crazy was just flowing out with no end in sight, even though I felt it coming all week.
Let me try and explain what happens, maybe by explaining it to others I can better understand myself. It’s like going to a train station or an airport knowing you will board to get to your destination, but you have no clue what time it is arriving.
I feel my panic worsening, I can picture how bad the attack will be, and I know full well I am completely over thinking every situation; yet I can’t see WHEN the attack will occur. That in turn causes more panic because I start to think about all the possible times it can happen, when I don’t want it to happen, and I start to obsess about something that may come in a day or may come in 3 weeks.
It truly sounds absolutely psychotic in my head. I feel absolutely helpless to stop something that I know is coming. How is it that possible?