A lot has happened in the last two months. I feel like I’ve been on a rollercoaster and range of emotions. No day is the same, but at the same time every day feels the same.

While I’m doing the same job, at the same times, every day, so many other outside factors come in and make each day different. It’s a unique situation inside of a monotonous work flow. Knowing the control issues I have it gets to be too much at times.

My motivation has taken a nosedive despite therapy sessions and setting time aside for myself. My drive and positive outlook have taken a back seat and dimmed. How do I get that back? How do I push through?

I’m so tired of putting on an ok face at work and then coming home and trying to stay put together. I struggle with keeping up appearances, I have always been horrible at hiding my emotional state even though I try so hard.

I’m falling apart inside. I’m a jumbled mess. I can’t think straight.