I’m just tired. So tired of fighting my own brain. Sometimes this depression is beyond words but I have to keep working. Sometimes I can’t think straight but I have to force myself to focus. It’s just unexplainable loneliness and feeling just inept.
Everyone says I’m strong and I can push through this, they’re wrong. I’m weak. I’m fragile. I’m brittle. I wish I could be tough, tough enough to fight this.
Waking up this morning after a good nights rest I still feel it. The sense of being alone even when surrounded by people I love, the feeling of failure, the feeling of worthlessness, that I am not enough for those around me. Nothing clears these thoughts from my brain. They distract and temporarily mask them, but they’re always there.