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Thoughts

Yesterday’s thoughts & Todays continuation

I’m just tired. So tired of fighting my own brain. Sometimes this depression is beyond words but I have to keep working. Sometimes I can’t think straight but I have to force myself to focus. It’s just unexplainable loneliness and feeling just inept.

Everyone says I’m strong and I can push through this, they’re wrong. I’m weak. I’m fragile. I’m brittle. I wish I could be tough, tough enough to fight this.

Waking up this morning after a good nights rest I still feel it. The sense of being alone even when surrounded by people I love, the feeling of failure, the feeling of worthlessness, that I am not enough for those around me. Nothing clears these thoughts from my brain. They distract and temporarily mask them, but they’re always there.

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Thoughts

My brain EXPLODED

I started my first business class yesterday, which I was so excited for. Well not anymore. After reading the syllabus and yesterday trying to figure out the assignment my brain exploded.

I got so overwhelmed after a bit of research and maybe two or three sentences written, I called it quits and went to bed.

This morning I still have a lingering headache and I’m not feeling all that great, here’s hoping work doesn’t kick my ass today. I know I can do it, I just gotta break it all down into small steps and go from there.

If anyone has any tips on online schooling drop them in the comments!

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Morning Meditation

Call those you love, Facetime if you can, and if you can physically hold a loved one do so. in such uncertain times every minute is precious.

Stay safe. Be kind. Be patient.

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Morning Meditation Thoughts

Monday

A lot has happened this weekend. Too much to process, to much to accept, and too much to have to go through.

A new week has started filled with uncertainties and anxieties, but I’m still here. Sometimes that is a win, just waking up and being present is all I have in me.

We shall see what this week brings, and hopefully make it to another weekend relatively unscathed.

Categories
Thoughts

snapshots from my new home!

Still unreal my husband and I are homeowners, but definitely enjoying every day. I’m feeling beyond blessed and thankful, and also a bit overwhelmed. I hope you enjoy these few pictures for now, maybe I’ll share more soon ☺️